1. Women = Time x Money (Assumption 1: a = b*c)

2. Time = Money (Assumption 2: b = c)

3. Women = Money x Money = Money2 (squared) (Derivation 1: a = b2)

4. Money = v—Evil (root) (Assumption 3: c = root of d)

5. Women = (v—Evil )2 (root of Evil squared) (Derivation: a = root of d squared)

6. Women = Evil (Conclusion: a = d)

As with any argument, if the assumptions are true and the derivations valid, the conclusion must be true.

And please, in advance, all of you ready to say “you hate women! you hate men! you hate philosophers! you hate pretentious people who call you a wannabe-philosopher! you hate people who overreact and have no sense of humor! etc.” just chill all right - I don’t hate anyone except myself sometimes. So enjoy it, thanks to my brother, and hats off to the guy who did it - it’s brilliant. (Yes, I enjoy nerdy stuff like this a lot. And no, I don’t get out much.)

Sunday, July 7, 2008: A Possible Candidate

ok so by a complete fluke on the last day of ISNA some african american brothers came to my dad’s booth to talk to him and one of them makes a little rhyme like “give me your card, if its not too hard, and-something-i-cant-remember-that-rhymes-with-’ard’” - anyway i sort of laughed a bit at that and he turns and goes, oh, i see she got it - you see, im a poet - so when i told him i was too, we started talking

i am always looking for artists for IN Production, but i have a pretty high standard (please dont confuse this with a PRETENTIOUSLY HIGH STANDARD) - i insist on both originality and competence - and he did some of his stuff for me and it was GOOD subhanallah

now this bro is a classic, classic gentleman from a sadly-passing generation - old-school, southern, with manners and compassion, but with a righteousness that is very down to earth

unfortunately, he lost everything he owned in katrina and although people know OF him, its never materialized into anything steadily - he had a chance to perform for nelson mandela even based on one of his writings, he has hundreds of poems, he’s gone all over america, etc. yet let me tell you again - there are virtually no modern day emily dickinsons  - i mean no one’s gonna come up to  you, go wow, you’re really talented, and drag you into the spotlight - talent  is talent, but to get somewhere takes the “necessary evil” of marketing

now i believe i have a balance inshallah - i dont want to become a monster like the really commercial, solely money-making ventures in the “entertainment” (versus art) world - but i dont think artists should have to starve either

so i told the guy i am like 90% ready to sign him to work with me (i dont like leading people on so i wanted him to know its not set in stone or anything) but i am pretty excited - i mean the guy is intelligent, but very simple too - and has strong presence - a classic all the way

anyway, when he told me to meet him at denny’s in the 3rd ward, LOL, i was like that’s perfect!

again, not sure if i will really go through with it, but he’s definitely a possibility, may Allah grant him long life and eternal success…

ok so day 2 was AWESOME - obviously, more people - i sold twice as many as the first day at full price, another twice as many at a promotional price (to vendors and volunteers) and got picked up by dar-us-salam! alhamdulillaah

also another lady who runs a bookstore said that her husband reviewed it and had some criticisms (which was sort of expected) and she turns to me and says with a smile, “but i disagree, i think it’s charming!” - so she says when she opens her physical location inshallah she will carry it

i had a few “golden moments” where literally some teenage guy would see it, look at it for a second, say, “cool”, and plop down the money and be on his way, but overall it was still a lot of hustling on my part - i started getting even more active - offering vendors a chance to read it and if they liked it offer them a discount, going out into the crowd and seeing groups of kids and telling them about it, etc.

again, i got some more insight into marketing - as i mentioned, if you dont put in people’s faces, they dont notice it - and even sometimes they would be looking at it and then you STILL have to go - its a comic book! and THEN they say “ooooh” - so i dont know why its like that, but its just the reality of life

i do have to admit, i dont like marketing in this manner - i feel pretty bad actually trying to get people to buy something on a personal level (as opposed to having a store or something out which they come to on their own) - so i pretty much just got some thick skin, and was almost robotic in my professionalism - simply coming up with like a 30-second, pressure-free informative line - my MAIN goal (more than sales even) was to make it KNOWN

i really cant thank allah enough - for such a small conference, for being stuck in the back, sharing a booth, not having fliers, etc. and being the first days with a single product, it was beyond expectation :)

the last day was a half-day of course (sunday) and pretty dead, but i made some really cool contacts alhamdulillaah - i’ll write about that under IN Production…

So it was the Friday of the ISNA Houston conference and I was fortunate enough to have my father (Abdul Hye) let me use his booth. That’s good since we’re just starting lol and I have no money, but at the same time, I learned a lot about marketing (ok more than with a few of the other things I had to help with in the past). I mean, I thought I had such a great product that it would “sell itself” ha ha. Well, I learned no matter how great something is, it takes a lot to run the “marketing machine” which puts anything out there (oh, don’t let any “modest, humble” type sit and act like it doesn’t take hustling - either they’re doing it or someone else is doing it for them). So here was my learning curve for the day:

1. ISNA regional is not as many people (of course) so the crowd was already not too packed -> If we were spending money on this we’d have to look at if it’s worth the exposure.

2. The layout of the bazaar was “bizarre” and there was like a main hall and a side hall - and we were in the side hall (not as many people) -> Sign up early but also have a marketing campaign ready to go.

3. The fact that I was with my dad, who had most of the table (it was his after all) led many of the youth to pass by the table since at one glance it was all “grown up” or “educational” stuff -> You only have a few seconds to make an impression.

4. At first, many people from a quick glance also thought it was a children’s book (like for 3 year olds or something) -> Things have to be spelled out for people.

5. I finally started being more active - I made a long stack of blue books and laid one open so people could see it was a comic book -> The more flashes you can give of the product without giving it away (think trailers), the more effective at “reeling them in” (you need bait).

6. I also started standing up/walking out to meet people I knew or seemed interested (as opposed to doing what comes natural to me - sitting there minding my own business and letting people find it on their own - I guess when I shop I HATE people staring at me or even talking to me, so I feel like doing the same thing, but most everyone else seems to either enjoy or at the least be happy you called their attention to something they may have missed) -> You can’t just sit back and watch the money roll in - you have to make stuff happen.

7. Obviously, I gave a few promotional copies out to book vendors, but I also noticed a lot of the bored youth at booths sitting there so I loaned them copies for the convention - this caused them to read them, laugh, have people ask them what they were reading, and tell their friends, etc. -> You have to think of stuff no one else is doing to stand out - there are a lot of simple, hidden opportunities. Also, sometimes exposure is more valuable than sales.

So after ALL this, I sold a few copies. :) But the good news is, people really LIKED them - I mean I had some kids stand and read for a long time, even some college guys, reading and laughing. It seemed many enjoyed a chuckle but either didn’t want to buy it or wanted to come back with money to buy later. One girl left reading the book while walking! It’s not bad for a first day of a first conference with a first product with no advertising, etc. alhamdulillaah.

But I think the best part was I met Zuhair’s cousin, who happens to live in Houston! She bought the first copy enthusiastically and gave more - she introduced me to her mother (Zuhair’s aunt), said she’d help how she could, is trying to set me up for ISNA National (in Columbus), and took a copy for Zuhair’s mother (I was going to mail her one myself), whom she will visit this August inshallah. I could tell her and her family were touched that we were doing this for Zuhair (part of the proceeds go to his mother and a masjid he wanted to support) and I was not expecting such a pleasant surprise!

Alhamdulillaah, overall a good first day…

OK so printing was to be done this week - yet ISNA Houston (the regional conference) is this weekend. So I had to make a decision - originally the cover was going to be a bit fancier, with die-cut lettering (you know, the raised lettering common on paperbacks) but I figured I need to catch ISNA (and I found out a short while back and only now have decided to really make it). So I dropped the raised lettering and the comic book should be out this Friday inshallah!

So anyone at ISNA Houston, you can get the FIRST EVER printed copies of the book (they are $10/each). Sorry, onliners, the site is STILL not ready so you have to wait a bit longer to get yours!

A balance is the best thing you can give your children - on the one hand you do not want them to have “total freedom” because obviously, since kids are still growing, they need to be educated, trained, etc. Things like compassion for others, generosity, self-reliance, discipline, etc. are not always inherent in everyone - they must be taught. So first off of course YOU must be a good role model. If you’re not perfect, that’s ok, but at least be honest - the most destructive thing is for you to be a foul hypocrite or a horribly corrupt person - if after that you start to “preach” to them right and wrong, well, you can see it would not only be ineffective, most likely you’d turn your children’s impressionable hearts against the very things you want for them.

There is nothing better you can give your children in this crazy world than honesty WITH understanding, compassion, wisdom, and guidance. In other words, you should draw out a picture of what is good and bad - what are traits they should cultivate and what are traits they need to rid in themselves. How many parents want a good “education” for their children but neglect CHARACTER and MANNERS, which are probably the MOST important things a human being can have. The Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam told us he was only sent to perfect the manners. So having limits, guidelines, makes sense of the world for kids - and they will be less bewildered and troubled by the challenges to come inshallah.

On the other hand, you do not want to completely isolate them or “force” them into being “good” - meaning some parents think “well, if my child has no tv, no music, no contact with imperfect people, etc. then they can’t be polluted” - to an extent that is true. You want to make sure that their BASE of family and friends is positive and righteous - but they will one day enter the real world and will undoubtedly face evil or bad habits, etc. and they have to CHOOSE to be good for themselves. That is the goal. So again, a balance of experiences (and remember experience is different than influence - a wise parent can see the differenc) is key.

Another problem area for parents is the perception that the more you “care” about your child, the more you will baby him/her. I remember I was sometimes called a “heartless” mother - because for example, if my child fell down, I would quickly see if it was an emergency (gushing blood etc.) - if it was I would quickly take action, but without screeching - and if it was not, I would slowly offer help. If it was mild, I would let them handle it themselves while watching. The point is, the more you rescue your children - the more dependent on you. You want to be there IF they need your help - obviously neglect is the other extreme, and in fact weakens the child - but quiet support is better. Try to let them work out most of their challenges and problems on their own while you keep a watchful eye, intervening only when necessary.

Nagging is also a huge issue - nagging is constantly trying to get kids to see things your way. For the most part, what is most effective is to educate. Once they know, allow them to think for themselves and hopefully agree with the things you are trying to get them to see. If they have questions, be honest and fair. I think I am more of a mentor to my children than anything else - they know anytime night or day they can ask me about anything. When they trust you, they will come to you on their own for guidance. Furthermore, nagging causes the child to turn a deaf ear to you, to be irritated with you. It drives them away - you want to build a relationship where they come to you willingly.

Consistency is also of obvious importance. Remember, consistency is not constant force to control them - it is simply so that they will build SELF-discipline, so they will be empowered and strong to care for themselves. If you set up a schedule or tasks for them to do, that is only the smallest part - enforcement, consequences for neglect, etc. are where the real action is.

Alhamdulillaah, my kids are fairly self-reliant and they choose Islam. I know they have friends even who refuse to pray, etc. and I was amused to find this “shocked” them. They take care of themselves, can cook, clean, do their homework, etc. I actually give them quite a bit of freedom - and I see it all as testing grounds - what do they choose? Alhamdulillaah they are by in large mindful of Allah, respectful of others, and responsible for themselves.

This summer, I had some goals for my kids - I said to them kids, no matter where you are in life (again, they will spend most of the summer with their dad) you must agree to always do 4 things (you do not want to make your requests of them too often or too much - this loses effectiveness): guard your 5 prayers, take care of yourself (brush your teeth, etc.), take care of your possessions (keep your room/house tidy, etc.), and read quran once a day. I let them go last weekend and this whole week I hadn’t spoken to them.

I was a bit nervous and I thought - nah, they probably forgot - it’s summer, they’re with their dad, they might be traveling, etc. and I resolved when they returned (they get about 2 weeks at my mom’s house) to go over my request again, reminding them a few more times (it’s good to be practical and not too idealistic when dealing with kids - expect some slip-ups and have patience). To my surprise, when I spoke to them today, my daughter said yes, they were doing all I asked. I was so happy! And you know, she said to me, “Mom, why are you so surprised?!” as if why don’t you trust us or think we were capable of it? And I guess she’s right. :)

We have a website for IN Production, where you can catch up on all our projects (www.inproductionmedia.com) and specifically for NaseehaMan (www.naseehaman.com), but they are not functional yet. So I decided to start blogging about it here and transferring the entries when the sites are up. It’s just such an exciting process and a lot of people have been waiting around for the comic book!

- Tuesday, June 24, 2008: Printing Proof

Today I went down to the printers and got the proof. It was supposed to be a “bluebook”, which is basically a monochromatic draft of the print, but it turned out to be a low quality draft print with all the original colors. It looks good - there was only one glitch with the upc bar code on the back, but the bro just went into IN Design and fixed it.

It was also really cool seeing the insides of the press - it’s not a huge company, but not too small either - the machines are pretty big and they have several, hooked up to computers, etc. I also learned some stuff about how they print (multiples of 16 are optimal). We now ordered our initial print of 1000 copies on good paper, with a pressed cover.

As soon as I got home, my mom read the whole thing and my kid sister read it next (they were the only ones home at the time lol). There’s just something about a comic book - it’s pretty irresistible. I don’t think there’s anything out like it on the market now - and I can’t wait until it’s out. :)

I remember I loved learning - in fact, school would be a dream if it wasn’t for the social factor. I mean, I’m the kind that actually enjoyed my defensive driving course (when I got a ticket)! But in school, I dreaded lunch, where you would have to sit with friends, group projects, even free time because the teachers assumed you would want to get with your friends. If you didn’t have friends or know how to relate to normal humans, then it was difficult. I remember once I got ISS (In school suspension) and it was like the funnest thing in the world - you sat all isolated, didn’t have to hear boring lectures or deal with classmates, did your work, and went home with no homework! I wondered why all of school couldn’t be like that. ISS was no punishment, for me!

I spent most of my days in the girls’ bathroom, crying in a stall during lunch time. Finally, I got tired of being such a coward and I just said to myself, “You know what - you are alone.” After I accepted myself for who I was, I actually enjoyed being alone. I used to go under the bridge to these woods by a bayou, and I would take off my hijab, read, sing, pray, eat my lunch, and take in the beauty around me. I looked forward to lunch as my haven away from school. Most of my youth was spent alone with books, music, movies, and other things which made up the world I lived in - located in my head. The characters, authors, and artists, both living and dead, were my “friends”. In fact, I felt so comfortable with myself, I guess people noticed and some even asked me to sit with them (something I would have killed for earlier), but by then I preferred being alone!

I suppose by adulthood. no one could really top the amazing people in my head. I pretty much preferred being alone and found most people boring. But more than that, something I didn’t realize at the time - I was very withdrawn as a person. I mean for me socializing is surreal. Sometimes it is purely Islamic for me - I smile and say salaam to like every sister. I also believing in keeping the ties of family, relations, and community. I also am hypersensitive about including everyone, especially people I perceive as left out. Sometimes this fools people into thinking I am very social. From another angle, I can be very very open about my own feelings and emotions, but again, what most people don’t realize is it is quite “impersonal” on my behalf - it’s more like self-expression or art to share a life experience with all of humanity or something.

Yet in adulthood I continue to have some oddities. When I got married the first time, in an arrangement, I remember I couldn’t be open with my husband - to the point that I could never look him in the eye. I mean he was a nice person, but I never felt comfortable enough with him to let my guard down I suppose. In general, I also can’t stand touching people. I sort of wince when I have to hug sisters, but it’s like taking a deep breath and plunging in - and it’s over soon. Once in a while I’ve been in a situation some sister will lovingly hold my hand and be childish with me, holding it for a while or something. And I try, I really do try to enjoy it, but it makes my skin crawl. If someone starts talking to me real personal, I tend to back up and start crossing my arms in that old defensive posture. Lol, I once had a marriage counselor (for my first marriage) look pointedly at me and say in her calm, maternal voice, “You don’t like being touched, do you?” It sort of shocked me that she could see that lol!

Anyway, what’s odd about all this is that somehow even though I am childish in nature, I tend to be bigger than everyone around me. What do I mean? I don’t mean I am older or have more knowledge or authority or position. It’s just many times people look up to me or they actually act more childish than me - I hate to say it, but I am tired of being bigger than everyone around me! I wouldn’t mind, but I don’t have anyone who I can talk to - not anyone I trust to lay down my troubles or cry on their shoulder. A sister once told me, when she heard about my marriage (the first one) that I was more independent than anyone she had met, who was married, and she said she thought perhaps I wasn’t meant to be close with anyone, that I was to be close with Allah. I do think about that sometimes, but I know I’m not a saint, so I am afraid to assume things or build myself up as righteous or something. I don’t know - life is so strange.

And what’s weird is I feel like I’m “institutionalized” - like I’m so used to being alone, I actually feel weird if I’m in a social gathering. I remember as a teenager I once went to the mall with some girls - and I was sort of excited like “this is what a normal teenager does!” but when I got there, it’s like I felt like running home and burying my head in my mom’s lap or something - it was so strange - I actually told the girls I would meet them somewhere just so I could wander around by myself. And until now when I walk, I walk all slumped and not making eye contact. It’s just a habit after all these years.

In the mean time, I sometimes get people who want my help - I guess I am so open about my feelings, they feel they can trust me. I am very sensitive, so I do have a lot of compassion - I really feel for people and I want to help them if I can, even if I’m a nut. This one brother spilled his guts to me (my husband was copied of course) and he even like insulted me a lot in the process - because that’s how it is when you’re sick in the head - you tend to be insecure, etc. but I stayed calm and helped him get past all that. But now I have no idea how he’s doing - he just stopped communication. Inshallah he’s ok, but I worry. The thing is, there is no one in my life I can be weak around, not at all. The one person in life I have actually after all these years opened up to completely berates and torments me if I show signs of insecurity or weakness. So I guess I don’t know what to do. I know if I was a better Muslim I would indeed have a relationship with Allah which would be enough - and I try to but it’s hard and I feel so weak sometimes. Also, I don’t know what it is about human beings - why the hell do we even feel “lonely” or feel the need for human companionship? It’s so strange. Either way, I have always felt alone and I guess after all these years I still am.