When Miracles Cease
when you’re in kindergarten, and you get “1+1=2″ correct, your teacher pats you on the head and exclaims, “good job!”
now you could defend a brilliant phd proposal and no one cares
many years ago, when i discovered the prayer of istekhaarah, it was amazing - jumping out of a plane with no parachute, certain god will catch you - and every time i did it, despite what the whole world said, how much they cautioned or augured ill for me, i witnessed miracles
i still pray istekhaarah, more even than i used to before, almost at ridiculously small steps i take in my life (due to fear, sorrow, and uncertainty)
and the miracles have stopped
but i still believe in it - in fact, moreso
i’m not in kindergarten anymore
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October 30th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
hey, as salamu ‘alaykum…
Being tested and being able to hold on to the rope is a miracle in and of itself.
October 30th, 2009 at 11:45 pm
walaikum assalaam wa rahmatullaah! how’s it going :)
i totally agree with you - obviously every little tiny thing that happens is a miracle of allah - lol i was waiting for someone to bring that up - and you’re right - but the post was more about how sometimes the obvious “rewards of faith” in this life are less spectacular (although still there) - and how ultimately the test IS - do you still believe it if those things are gone (or not obvious)? as allah says in the quran - do you think you will just say “i believe” and not be tested…
October 31st, 2009 at 5:55 am
Fatima,
is that you? my dear old friend from Houston?
October 31st, 2009 at 10:02 am
Alhamdulillah it’s going alright… trying to live life… find balance… How about you?
You know, when I read your post it reminded me of what Sheikh Nuh said in a lecture:
“There’s no karamah greater than a person to be awakened to one of his faults, and to resolve not to return to it again. This is the real karamah, the greatest karamah for this is the one that lasts forever with Allah Subhaanahu wa ta’alaa.” Isn’t it amazing how our life always leads us back to the Unseen? To Allah we belong and to Allah we return.
November 1st, 2009 at 12:11 pm
umm layth, jazaakallaah for that - that is a very unusual point (and a very good one)
crystal - AHHH!!! you don’t know how much i was recently thinking of you and wondering where you are!!! lemme email you…
November 24th, 2009 at 12:18 am
Wow, that was kinda like a slap in the face to GOD almighty himself!!! And judging by your previous thoughts, you seem the type that justs want’s attention…..no real answer or advice.
November 24th, 2009 at 5:32 pm
i think you missed the subtlety of the post - sometimes when faith isn’t rewarded in an obvious way, that itself is the true meaning of “faith” (the fact that it’s possible not to believe it) but you hold onto it anyway
i agree, i don’t post to seek advice (although sometimes i do appreciate it) - it’s just a way to think out loud
November 25th, 2009 at 10:16 am
I have read blogs that has been full of misspelled words, bad grammar, and so on. Your blog is well written, and very informative. What was you motivation for writing this? The Best way to contact me is by email. I check it everyday. Thanks.
November 25th, 2009 at 9:06 pm
i coudn’t tell if you were a spammer, but i let you in because of your email addy :) - thanks - do you mean the blog itself or this post? the blog actually was because my husband started a blogging platform and i was part of that project, so he figured we should both have one (he was into blogging before, but i wasn’t); about this post, well (sorry i dont normally reply to personal emails unless it’s um personal) just stuff i’ve been going through this year - just when i kept thinking it couldn’t get worse, it did; and like i said, even though i say the prayer for guidance more than i even used to, there’s hardly any of the big-time obvious signs or results i used to get; but i do feel it has forced me to be stronger (i know i wrote a lot, but i hope i answered your question)