27 Responses to “I Hate You All”

1. Umm Layth Says:
   September 20th, 2008 at 4:25 am

   as salamu ‘alaykum!

   do u hate me?

2. Tim Says:
   September 20th, 2008 at 5:16 am

   Salam alaikum,

   Unfortunately we all encounter scenarios that upset us throughout the years of our lives. The key is to always recall, no matter how distressing the situation, that there is a reason for everything.

   Suffering, pain, disability, pain, loss and poverty can be both tests of faith and purification. And so can wealth, joy and good health.

   We know that even the prick of a thorn expiates sins and raises us before our Lord. Thus God may choose to raise us in degrees through the pain of losing an eye, or not being able to have children, or losing our loved ones, or sending people to us who backbite, gossip and lie.

   The Qur’an explains this best:

   ‘Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe,” without being put to the test? We have tested those before them, for God must distinguish those who are truthful, and He must expose the liars.’ (29:2-3)

   Many of us have been hurt by the words and actions of others, and sometimes it takes years to overcome that pain, but the key is to recognise such trials for what they are: an opportunity to become closer to our Lord.

   To quote Arrested Development’s Mr. Wendel:

   Be strong, Serve God only. Know that if you do, beautiful Heaven awaits.

   Wasalam

3. asma Says:
   September 20th, 2008 at 8:46 am

   Asalaam alaykum wa rahmatullah.

   May Allah ease all our worries and difficulties. Allahumma Ameen.

   I don’t know you but I wanted to send you this short poem of reflection:
   Why do you weep? by Maulana Rumi:
   http://asmakarif.wordpress.com/2008/09/14/why-do-you-weep-by-maulana-rumi/

   Take care of yourself,

   asma

4. a Muslim Says:
   September 21st, 2008 at 10:26 am

   may Allaah befriend you.

5. gal Says:
   September 22nd, 2008 at 7:42 am

   Hate. That word is full of many meanings. What do you mean when you say you hate everyone?… That you are desiring seclusion, that you disagree with ppl actions, that no matter what ppl say they never really mean it, is it that ppl always have to try to reach out even when the extention of their hands is not wanted?. is it being angry at the nature and inclinations of ppl.

6. fatimahye Says:
   September 22nd, 2008 at 11:34 pm

   assalaamu alaikum,

   umm layth lol i knew someone would ask that :) of course not - this is a general thing (ok it involves one particular person and some people incidentally) but its a general feeling towards humanity (gal, i hope this explains things to you)

   the rest of you bros and sisters - jazaakumullaahu khayran for your kind and beneficial words - a lot of times when i write, i am just expressing an experience (ie being burned by people and hating everyone) but its limited to that - im not trying to resolve anything on the blog (but of course in my personal life i do try) - i know it sometimes alarms people when i say such things, but its just an idea or feeling (temporary) and maybe you can relate to it

7. Someone Says:
   September 27th, 2008 at 1:39 pm

   I can relate to it. But unlike you i don’t have the courage to share my thoughts and feelings be it in writing or speech because i’m afraid of the taboo word. Depression.

   The majority of people can’t distinguish that having a particular state of mind, in this case depressed and melancholic, and being in a state of iman and gratitude are not mutually exclusive. It’s like, life looks overwhelmingly grey and lonely being in complete conjunction with alhumdulilah-ala-kullli-haal wa shukrallah for the overwhelming blessing of existence.

   I think my difference is probably that recently i haven’t fallen into isolation mode whenever i fall into a love phase because my eyes and heart have opened to the importance of the duties and responsibilities i have towards people. But, oh how i loved to isolate myself and sit in the corner of the room and all my myself at the table lol. *sighs - days gone by. And if i’m completely honest, i’ve actually naturally evolved into a more sociable person. I ‘need’ people, i ‘need’ compan sometimes even if they’re on an entirely different planet to me. The comfort of human warmth is, well, comforting.

   I feel you sis, i feel you!

8. Someone Says:
   September 27th, 2008 at 1:41 pm

   typo - should be fall into a ‘low’ phase NOT love phase

9. Some guy Says:
   September 28th, 2008 at 10:53 pm

   Humm isn’t spirituality suppose to improve a person’s condition? How’s tassawuf coming along?

10. fatimahye Says:
    October 2nd, 2008 at 10:36 am

    someone, i know what you mean - i feel i’ve lightened up to human society in recent years but this thing has sort of put me back at adolescence :)

    some guy - yah, it is and alhamdulillaah it has - i am grateful i got this news NOW and not when i had less training in jihaad un nafs

    anyhow, your apparent sarcasm indicates you probably dont dig tasawwuf which is fine by me - i dont consider myself a “sufi” now - i just wanted to improve myself in some things

    in no way does that mean someone trying to pursue “spirituality” will not be afflicted with trials or only utter phrases of perfect emotional balance - the quran is full of righteous people who were shaken to the foundations of their faith and asked when would come the help of allah

    anyway, whether you like tasawwuf or not i dont appreciate being all asked such a question to prove whatever point it is you are trying to prove - please leave me out of it - i dont represent anything but i do talk about my experiences whether they be “spirituality” or depression

    baarakallaahu feek

11. Anon Says:
    October 10th, 2008 at 2:27 pm

    Well, you called me sick, made me hate myself, so you deserve it.

12. Anon Says:
    October 10th, 2008 at 2:34 pm

    People don’t talk to me, I’m sending emails to people I know telling them that I hate them and for them to leave me alone. You’re right, it is much better not to have friends, who needs friends? I hate everyone.

13. Anon Says:
    October 10th, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    Sorry, I didn’t mean that. What I meant to say was that I’m a real misanthrope and I don’t suffer amateurs like you- affecting misanthropy and doing such a poor job of it. If you were a real misanthrope, you wouldn’t have any friends and you wouldn’t be married (- like me), you certainly wouldn’t have any children (I never, ever want to have children, even if I marry) and you wouldn’t me a member of the spiritual country club otherwise known as the Shadhilli tariqah. I bet you don’t even cry yourself to sleep every night, wondering why people hate you so much. Bloody amateur.

14. fatimahye Says:
    November 10th, 2008 at 10:14 am

    sorry, didnt look at the blog in a while, so some comments are just coming through - and i accidentally erased a few so hit the back button and copied them:

    Muhammad:

    I read your blog “I hate you all”. What you need is a true friend who hear you, understand you and have the patient and knowledge to reply to your needs.
    My suggestion is turn to Allah and pour out your heart of hate, Love. fear,
    confusion and what else you feel day or night. Sincerely done Allah will removed the hate and fill you with Love patient and understanding.
    Allah is true friend that does not hurt or disappoint his slaves. He is dependable and never fails, guaranty, go ahead give Allah your heart.

    Who Cares:

    Lets take a look at why women decide to stay with a man who is rubbish.

    Islamicly if you leave , you get money for your children and nothing for yourself , there is no bait amaal to give you a salary , so you steal money from your children ? no thanks , or you who are a older woman and you will become dependent on your family for handouts ? and a revert what happens then?

    How others look at you , for some strange reason women are always blamed for the downfall of a marriage even if your the one walking out the door , subhaan Allah she is walking for a reason . And anyone who says you should not bother what others think , is living in a dream world, women are sensitive and so are children, why make their life harder by listening to taunts by others because their families cant keep their traps shut in front of their children.

    Women become male bashers due to their experiences with them , I used to say what’s wrong with the women who are like that , but I can see how they become like that. and then we are told to be patient and fix the problems ? some men are beyond repair .
    I listened to immams telling me be patient , now my patience has affected my children’s life as they now have a terrible role model as a father , and my daughters don’t want to be married , and my sons are having problems as their father cant be bothered with them. And are live bait to those who wish to take advantage of that situation.
    The worse thing of out of all of this is I have to hide this from my non muslim family, so they don’t have a bad impression of Muslims and don’t worry about me. I have oppressed my children ,mainly due to no responsible wali .
    Divorce seems to be a bad thing in Islam , we treat it like the Catholics, stay together no matter what .

    We can be pious strong muslims but even those can break too.

15. fatimahye Says:
    November 10th, 2008 at 10:19 am

    assalaamu alaikum,

    muhammad - jazaakallaahu khayran - even though we all know this, it is good to be reminded with it

    anon - when you do multiple posts, one can almost see the arc of your emotions - listen, you dont need to compete with me for “most woeful life story”, especially since you are a “real” misanthrope (who reads and comments on blogs) - i’m very sorry for the state of your life and you know that, so i wont bother clarifying about “marriage” and “country clubs” (ha ha) - and listen, i have explained it a few times to you, i meant “sick” in a friendly way since i feel i am “sick” as well - it wasn’t to put you down - rather it was almost comradeship, but if it really bothers you then i think you’re fine alhamdulillaah (and also note i do not have the skill or authority to issue someone a clean bill of mental health) - take care akhi :)

16. fatimahye Says:
    November 10th, 2008 at 10:21 am

    sigh, i am so bad at this - one of those comments was for a different post, and for some reason i cant edit comments so i will repost it in the right place…

17. maher jilani Says:
    November 15th, 2008 at 3:42 pm

    Salam,

    Dear fatima,

    I’m just gonna give you a little advice.. and you can take it or leave it, its up to you.

    A friend of mine told me once,

    Maher i know your so depressed right now, but ” If you stop, the whole world wont! and trust me no body will care when you do and no one will really feel you” and ” you know that you cant change the world and everybody to the way you want it, and coz of that you have to change yourself so you can accept everybody around you so you can be happy..”

    I mean i have seen a lot of people in my life and i just know that your not stupid, i think your a smart person, but i think you should be stronger.. that’s the only thing you really need..

    you don’t hate everybody, you just need a big reason to make you happy, and i think if you look deep inside you will find it and rest..

18. Amna Says:
    December 31st, 2008 at 9:11 am

    Salamualikum Fatima,

    Dont know if u still remember me, this is Amna from Houston(Saba’s sister in law). How r u doing? I always ask Sumiyyah about u.

    U never seemed isolated, human-hater to me. Infact u seemed so friendly MashaAllah.
    I know how much we get hurt from others. But I guess we cannot leave them also. I like to meet people and like to b among friends. At the same time I get hurt so many times. . But then I also think that I m not perfect too. I would have hurt so many without knowing. Sometimes I also feel not to see anyone. But after few days m back to normal thinking that I have so many bad habits i need to workon so why just get mad at others on their short comings:).

    Here is a very nice simple well written I just read yesterday about negativity.

    http://muslimmatters.org/2008/12/30/the-art-of-overcoming-negativity/

    I hope I m not in your hate list:)

    May Allah make it easy on you and give you happiness. Ameen.
    Amna

19. Anonymous Says:
    January 2nd, 2009 at 2:07 am

    I feel sorry for you. I can’t even read this blog because it transports me to a dark, adolescent, and hopeless place that choose to remain in. I would hate to a perpetual teenager. I hope you get better!

20. fatimahye Says:
    January 10th, 2009 at 9:43 am

    assalaamu alaikum,

    wow, maher, i didnt expect to see you here - but ahlan - you know i am so surprised how much reaction this post got - i havent blogged in a long time and i still get comments on this post which was me going through a hard time (probably the hardest of my life and had to do with loved ones, etc. and cut me very deeply and made me mistrust everyone) - so it’s better now, alhamdulillaah, although not completely gone

    thanks anyway for the kind words and good advice - mashallah, you’ve always been a very positive kid :)

    amna, sure i remember you - again, so nice to see you! i know i dont seem antisocial, but a lot of that is really just because i have a very deep love for all human beings - and especially muslims - so i genuinely say salaam and smile at every sister i see in any gathering (i know partly it is from when i was kind of a reject in school so i always try to include everyone) - so i dont actually hate every individual (and certainly not you!) but i was very upset with humanity, and the knavishness of humanity and the accursedness of humanity and all that lol

    jazaakyllaahu khayran for your du’aa, and may Allah grant you the same

    anonymous - glad you’re still around - thanks for feeling sorry for me - i am not a perpetual teenager, but i think when i was a teenager i didnt experience some things that everyone else did (like love for example) so now when i am experiencing it for the first time it’s like i am a teenager, you get me? anyway, hope you are good but i dont think i’ll ever grow up lol

21. Your Sister Says:
    February 22nd, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    Keep rocking sugar I mean….sister! hehehe!

22. Umm Farooq Says:
    February 25th, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    as-Salaamu ‘alaykum Fatima

    I remembered your posts from IN and maa sha’Allaah, you had this incredibly logical and insightful way of looking at things - admirable really. I just have a feeling though that there’s this huge price to pay for it, y’know? Well maybe you do or don’t, just my personal thought.

    I hope you’re still around. I never did get the real chance to talk to you on the forums but that didn’t stop me reading your comments with interest, maa sha’Allaah.

    Right well, that’s all I think. Smile for the cameras and I’m outta. =)

    Take care, yo.

    And no, I can’t explain why I’ve gone a little ghetto…

23. Me not You Says:
    March 11th, 2009 at 6:56 pm

    Hi, i understand the way you feel. Sometimes we all caught up in our emotions. Sometimes we forget that all bad things end and we are happy again. Everything happens for a reason. Always, remember. If Allah takes you to it, he will take you through it… ;)

24. Anonymous Says:
    April 8th, 2009 at 11:17 pm

    sorry this is off topic but i dont have another way to get in touch with you - Do you or your husband own muslimpad? I had deleted a blog of mine a couple years ago and i just found out that its still online … any suggestions?

25. fatimahye Says:
    May 21st, 2009 at 7:24 am

    assalaamu alaikum,

    anonymous - i think you got in touch with sas?

    umm farooq - nice to “see” you! what are you up to?

    me not you - jazaakallaahu khayran, nice way of putting it

    i am happy to say in some ways things are better now, of course, as “time” ie Allah doesn’t keep anyone’s situation static - it’s not all over yet, but then neither am i…

26. Aisha Says:
    August 31st, 2009 at 10:44 pm

    Fatima,
    I read your book. It was very well written and provocative. Thanks for sharing it with me. -aisha

27. fatimahye Says:
    September 5th, 2009 at 2:29 am

    Assalaamu alaikum,

    I’m sorry, but I can’t tell from your email - which Aisha is this? It’s been a while and I’m so out of it these days…

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