Comments on: Raising Self-Reliant Kids

By: sasjamal

sasjamal — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 11:03:24 +0000

Its super easy to be a good parent.

First of all people are very confused about what we have to do to be a good parent. We only have to make sure they know right and wrong, and instill these ethics to a degree by the time they hit puberty.

The moment they hit puberty, they are on their own and your job as a parent is done. The rest is up to them -

Teeangerhood all of this stuff has nothing to do with parenting. At this point, the parents job is just to take care of them if they remain together.

Children are responsible for themselves by the age of 15 period.

If they grow up to be idiots, they were already idiots, no swear off the parents back and the kids can’t blame their parents either.

Sas

By: Anon.

Anon. — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 09:33:49 +0000

‘it just sounded like you were a newlywed’

What kind of newlywed would waste so much time on the internet?

Ameen to your du’a.

By: fatimahye

fatimahye — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:27:09 +0000

yah, sorry i didnt bother checking…it just sounded like you were a newlywed or something - all i’ll say is marriage isnt that different - you still have to be careful of rights :)

look i want you to enjoy the first experiences of married life but i also dont want you to take it that much harder when it changes…

may allah find you a pious wife and bless your marriage forever

By: Anon.

Anon. — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 22:22:22 +0000

Well, you can see my IP and my e-mail address- yes, I am the same person.

No, I’m not married *yet* insha Allah.

And if I’m operating under any illusions, kindly don’t disabuse me of them :)

By: fatimahye

fatimahye — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 22:18:52 +0000

did you get married (if you’re the same person)?

By: Anon.

Anon. — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 21:54:27 +0000

Marriage is different though- it’s *amazing* alhamdulillah

By: fatimahye

fatimahye — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:05:52 +0000

if its impossible, it wouldnt be recommended
i’m sorry if you havent seen ANY parents who have fulfilled the rights, but i have (even if many do not)

By: Anon.

Anon. — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 16:26:20 +0000

“the main thing is to fulfill their rights and do a good job raising them”

Which is absolutely impossible. I haven’t seen a parent who has fulfilled the rights of their child and done a good job raising them- to the extent that I’m convinced that this is an exception to the general rule of utter remissness on the part of (most) parents. Added to the problem that the mistakes you tend to make with your children have a nasty tendency to outlive you and your generation.
And marriage would be the same with me, were it not for the fact that it’s (for me, at least) completely obligatory.

By: fatimahye

fatimahye — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:03:24 +0000

well, my manifesto is islam lol - and we are encouraged to have kids - and fulfill their rights, so as long as someone does their utmost to do that, it is recommended

but as i said, there are some purely biological aspects to why most people have kids as well

i dont really see a problem if someone has kids selfishly - as allah mentions it is a natural part of life, and as selfish as wanting a home or a horse

again, the main thing is to fulfill their rights and do a good job raising them…

By: Anon.

Anon. — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 12:09:56 +0000

For the last two years I’ve decided there’s no way I ever want to have children, and that almost everyone who does does so selfishly.