Here I Am Now, Entertain Me…
I don’t know when I stopped being entertained. But basically I have been feeling “dead” recently. I am very sad and overwhelmed, but it’s also peaceful in a way. I feel more emotional towards Allah as well.
And whereas before I would genuinely be entertained by things (books, music, television, films, etc.) I am feeling so dead, I can’t enjoy anything. All the colors have turned gray.
I will read about 5 pages of a book at a time, a really good book too, and not enjoy it. Even if it is a classic with mind-splitting thoughts, or a page-turner, I just can’t get into it.
If I watch something with my family, the laughs are empty. I could care less. I just do these things to fill space and time. I don’t look forward to them at all - I just don’t know what else to do some times until I can sleep and escape the eerie hollow feeling of life.
I mean it’s good in a way - to not have your heart attached to these things. Alhamdulillah. But it is also scary. It’s scary not to get comfort from good old reliable methods of distraction. Before if I was depressed I actually could be cheered up or even get into a film or a book. Now I just can’t - I simply don’t care.
Entertainment just isn’t very entertaining to me right now. And there is no more escaping this life.
Powered by FireStats
November 19th, 2006 at 6:55 am
nothing is vey entertaining for me anymore either… I open my blog a lot, wanting to make a post, then I just feel “empty” and don’t want to post anymore. My interest of reading is slowly diminishing and it just sucks badly. But maybe mine is a bit worse… because I just am losing my urge for many things.. things I shouldn’t be having a hard time with, but I am.
November 20th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
DUDE..somethings going around.
I feel the same not as deep but heading there. It seems you finish one trial of life only to wake-up to another. YA RABB. EASE OUR AFFIRS
November 21st, 2006 at 9:57 pm
Assalamu ‘Aleikum Sisters
Ok-subhan Allah what is going on? everytime you feel low, check your imaan? have u done something wrong? make istighfaar continuesly and ask Allaah for help.
we shouldnt find comfort in movies or stuff like that, but muslims find comfort in the Quran. if You dont feel like reading, listen to a lecture or just relax and think about this life as a journey, and on journeys its ok to take a break but how do u use that break?
always re-check your imaan and what i once read in a book is that doing different acts of worship helps your imaan so you dont end in a routine.
and maybe this is a trial, but what is it compared to what others go through?
and we shouldnt complain but accept what Allaah choses for us on this road. Allaah is testing your sabr and your tawakkul..
maybe you have done some sins, doubting in some issues of the deen etc. test yourself and check whenever this feeling started. and find another way of dealing with it
May Allaah guide us all and keep us firm on the straight path
November 21st, 2006 at 11:16 pm
as-salaamu alaykum,
Two hallmarks of depression — symptoms key to establishing a diagnosis — are:
Loss of interest in normal daily activities. You lose interest in or pleasure from activities that you used to enjoy.
Depressed mood. You feel sad, helpless or hopeless, and may have crying spells.
(mayoclinic)
Yah sounds like depression May Allaah cure you of it - aameen
March 9th, 2007 at 5:00 am
Salaam,
Allah yi3atikouma al 3aafia ya Rabb, ameen…
The truth is I understand what you’re going through, it’s like a dark rut in life that you just can’t seem to slip out of.
I remember I went through a time where my iman was so high and strong, and it seemed nothing could budge me, and the strange thing is, is at that time I was going through one of the most hardest trials in my life.
Now Alhamdulilah I got what I wanted from Allah, I have good health, my baby has good health, we have good food alhamdulilah and a warm comfortable simple apartment, wal alhamdulilah.
However I think the low iman thing is a big factor in depression, and not changing ones activities. I think one’s diet also comes into play as well. LIke if you just eat high fatty stuff no veggies and what not, you’ll easily become a victim of that low energy, low ambition state. I think sometimes we have to find a new “anything” to do in order to pick ourselves up from the hole. Whether it’s finding a new trustworthy friend, or learning a new hobby, or farming.
I read in the Book, “Don’t be Sad” that one therapy for those suffering from depression was gardening. It works. I’ve tried it. Or traveling is another, and excersize is another. I think another most important one is dhikr of Allah, even if it’s simple….
Another one way to help one to resolve depression, is by giving in charity, or helping others in some way.(And you might be asking, “Well how can I help others if I can’t even help myself?” Well, even if you visit an orphanage, and hand out candy , believe me, it’ll be bring peace to your heart. Or make your favorite dish and hand it over to the neighbors….
Forcing oneself to pray at night is also another powerful remedy. I’ve tried it, even if you struggle to stay awake for fajr, that salat is full of baraka, your energy,ambition, everything just increases, even your rizq. SubhanAllah, I hope I can be the first to accept my own advice.
I hope we can get through it together. This demon called depression, because sadly, it takes many victims….we have to find a way to overcome it together insha’allah ya Rabbi…..
Sometimes you need to make a new friends as well, you have to surround yourself by other religious trustworthy sisters that understand your ideaology, in order to get out of depression as well. Because being alone is our enemy most of the time…that causes the shaytaan to make us the first victim….wal 3ayaadhu billah…..
Fatima!! I’m comming for ya! Just hang on!! :)
May Allah help us…Ameen
March 12th, 2007 at 2:47 am
lol jazaakyllaahu khayran; um, it might not be obvious, but i get that a lot - and what people don’t get is my blog is less a personal spewing ground, although it is personal, but just reflection or discussion of these topics; it’s like if you wrote a poem about being sad and people were all worked up over it; i’m not actually looking for pity or comfort, rather just discussing things from personal experience if you get me habibtee :)